I have a love affair that runs deep. Like most passionate affairs, it isn’t very practical. It takes much of my time and physical space. As strong as it is, there is also a fragility to it. I have to watch for my love, care for it. Now a new version of my lover has surfaced. I don’t want to betray my tried and true but I’m starting to change, and seeing that my new life’s expression is so different than who I used to be, I am starting to look at this new version with curiosity.
My love has taken me to far off lands I’ve never seen, it has taught me things, inspired me, and loves to snuggle. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s smooth, other times it’s easy… It always feels good. I’m talking about my beloved books.
The feel of various books and the look of the different covers. The stories, insights, and information inside. I love my books and usually buy them. I’ve had a library in my home now for as long as I can remember and have never thought twice of the care, the space, the packing and unpacking of my books as I brought them with me from adventure to adventure. As the digital book and reader came on the scene I scoffed at this ever being close to the original book. NO! I declared to my books in my heart. I will never leave you. Alas, it seems I may now break my promise.
This potential new lover, is light, and ever ready, never needing anything from me after my initial purchase. No extra labor or thought. It seems tawdry just writing about it but I have started to seriously consider this new lover the for a very important reason. You see, I am thinking of making the most profound change in my life yet. I am considering buying an RV to live and travel in. My own version of the Tiny House movement. I have always liked adventure, change, and travel. This desire was stoked in my heart a few years ago and has now reached a fever pitch. This longing, this calling, is having me look at my old love in a new light. You see, choosing this new adventure, this life of freedom that I know is mine to have, means rethinking of my current life in a whole new way. In an RV, I wouldn’t have the space nor would it be wise to carry the weight of my precious library that I have so lovingly curated over the years. This is why the new version of my beloved, the e-book and e-reader tablet, may just make sense. My goodness, my eyes are filled with tears as I type this. It hurts my heart to let go. My darling loves, my books, my forever friends and mentors.
I have yet to try an e-reader and I have only read a coupe of e-books. They came in .pdf format so I don’t really have the true experience yet. I don’t know if I could ever love this new version as much as my beloved first love. But I do know that in order for me to honor my heart and my life’s new expression I have to trust, let go, and believe that it is for the best. So I will caress each book, bless it, and thank it before sending it forth. I know they will go on to bless, educate, inspire, and delight whomever has the privilege of holding them next.
I might cry more, but if my experience of life has taught me anything yet, these tears of anguish due to letting go will soon be tears of joy at the sight of my new expanded experience revealed. It’s ok to be afraid or sad, let us act anyway. May we all have courage. The new frontier awaits us.